Monday, March 2, 2009
A Rare Moment of Peace
I love this picture. Captain Crazy and Little D were snuggling with each other one morning before they left for school and I went to work. I came around the corner, wondering why it was so quiet, and saw them just hanging on the couch togther and I just had to snap a quick shot. Most of the time they aren't like this with each other. In fact, most of the time I don't think there's much love lost between them. And it worries me to be honest.
They aren't doing anything that's endangering their welfare - they're not trying to club each other over the head with blunt objects or chasing each other with sharpened sticks. They just argue and bicker and compete against each, a lot. And it's driving me nuts.
Captain Crazy starts a lot of it. He rarely passes up an opportunity to point out to his little brother that he thinks has more Mac n Cheese than Little D has, or that his Mac n Cheese noodles are bigger than Little D's noodles. Or he'll pitch a fit if Little D gets dressed first in the morning or gets his shoes on before he does. But they are both equally guilty of fighting over who gets my attention - often screaming "My Mommy!" and pushing the other out of the way in order to get to me first. It's this last behavior that is most the frustrating for me. I pay so much attention to my boys and I try my absolute best to make sure that I give them both equal amounts of affection, but it just doesn't seem like enough. No matter what I do, it feels like it will never be enough.
It's frustrating and tiring. At the end of the day I sometimes feel like I've been mauled or manhandled or something along those lines. My nerves are frazzled and I feel like I somehow have failed at raising them because they just don't really get a long all that well.
I'm sure it's a phase they're going through. They won't always be fighting each other to get a hug or kiss from Mommy and they won't always care about who is first into the car or out of it. I'm going to have to remind myself of this fact often because right now they do care about that stuff and they argue a lot. And focusing on the times when they are getting along (like in the picture) will help a lot too. In the meantime, if anyone reading this has any helpful advice, I am all ears!