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Friday, January 1, 2010

Day 3 and the best Christmas gift ever.

So so so much has happened since I last posted what seems like a thousand years ago. The obvious major holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas, and the visits from family, trips out of town, and all the other little ups and downs of life - all stuff that came and went without so much as a whisper about it on my blog.

Why?

I don't know really. It could be that I knew my time at home with the boys was limited and I wanted to spend it as fully engaged with them as possible. Or it could be that they just kept me so busy that even if I had wanted to write, which I did try to do several times, I only got a few lines deep before something blew up, broke, or blood was shed. Hmmm, yeah, I think that was it.

But anyway, today I want to share two big things with you all so here I am - up waaaay before I should be so I can hopefully get this post up before the chaos of the new day begins.

Drumroll please.......I finally found a job - a full time job with nice pay and nice benefits to boot. Yah! I finished day three of orientation last week and my two week training starts Monday.

And while I am quite thankful to have a job now, I have a lot of mixed feelings.
When they offered me the position, part of me was jumping up and down and the other part of me panicked because in just 5 short months my boys and I tossed structure out the window and slipped into some pretty comfortable and relaxed routines like sleeping till 9 (them, not me)and I didn't want anything to change that.

Anyway, I'm back at work now and the first week, which thanks to the New Years holiday, consisted on only three days. The boys seemed just fine but the real test will come next week. When they have to get up at 6:30 am for five days in a row and go to school and daycare all week long - then we'll see how they do.

And selfishly I pray they do fine - I hope they rock the house. It would be so much easier on me because I have some major guilt about going back to work. I just wish I could split myself in two sometimes. I don't have
to work. We could continue living the way we have been these past 5 months - cutting out the fat and living leaner. But I still have professional goals and the longer I stay out of the workforce the harder it will be for me to achieve them. And what happens when the boys are older and in school most of the day? What happens when they want to be with their friends more than they want to be home? What then? So yes, I am trying to put some salve on my guilt by thinking of the future - a future that has me working and earning money and "getting ahead". I just wish I could prolong things a bit.

The second bit of news is that Dane potty trained himself the week before Christmas. I had tried coaxing him into using the potty on several occasions, all with mixed results. He knew exactly what he needed to do but actually told me a couple of times that he just wasn't ready and still wanted to use his diapers. Can't argue with that so I let the issue drop completely. Then one morning I casually asked him if he wanted to try using the potty and he said he didn't like his potty because it hurt his butt and that was why he still liked his diapers. So, we got him a different potty and he never looked back. Problem solved and diapers gone!

I have to hand it to Little D. He knows what he likes and doesn't like and when he's ready to do something, he does it. No wishy-washy crap and no looking back.

Maybe I should take a cue from him.

Happy New Year's everyone.