Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Tight Rope

Today is November 17th. I should probably get around to putting away the Halloween decorations. The wind is blowing like crazy and it feels like snow in the air. I should probably fetch the baby pool from the back yard and put it in the garage before it blows half way across the neighborhood.

All these things I should do. All these things I planned on doing a while ago but just haven't gotten around to it.

This exact time last year I was unemployed, but I was on top of my to do list mainly because I didn't have too much else to do. Seasonal decorations were put out and packed back up in a timely manner, summer toys were rounded up from the back yard and stowed neatly in the garage, the air conditioning unit was covered with a nice new tarp to keep out the winter rain and leaves. Jesus, all of my spring bulbs were planted by the end of September.

It's definitely a different story this year. Not that I am not thankful for my job. I am. It's just that the delicate balancing act I have been trying to perfect since I went back to work at the beginning of the year just seems much more difficult right now.

I feel scattered. Maybe it's the holiday season breathing down my neck. Or maybe it's because my kid is sick and I haven't slept well in days. Or maybe it's because work is flipping crazy right now. Or maybe it's ALL OF THE ABOVE.

I know a large part of my problem stems from expecting too much out of myself. Oh, and it would be helpful if I knew when to apply the brakes - when to say "enough is enough" Just this morning as I was driving into work I caught myself thinking of Christmas presents to MAKE, (really?!) for my sons teachers at their school. Forget about the gazillion family members I need to buy for, let's see where I can fit in homemade Christmas presents for 15 teachers! Maybe in between planting the rest of my Hyacinth bulbs and the two birthday parties the kids are going to this weekend.

Seriously, what is wrong with me?! Enough is enough!

In all fairness to myself I know I can't be the only person on earth who feels like they are constantly walking a tightrope while juggling a million things. So, if you are one of those folks and you have any secrets for staying balanced I would love to hear them.


Laufa said...

Just curious, what were you going to "make" for those teachers. You know that saying about smelling the roses? Enjoy your holidays!

gretchen said...

EEk! That's how I feel every day! So much gets missed and pushed aside and overlooked. But really? It doesn't matter. The important stuff will get done. There will always be coulda shoulda woulda oughtas.