Sunday, January 22, 2012

At least I'm consistent at being inconsistent

Well here it is, January again. The start of a new year. A time when gajillions of people push the "reset" button on their lives in an attempt to get back on the right path - whatever that path may be to them.

I'm one of those gajillions of people. Not that my life has ever been even close to being on the "wrong path". It's just that I'm a goal oriented person and a planner so that's why I look forward to the start of a new year with excitement and anticipation. Every New Year's Eve of my entire life has been spent not getting drunk and screaming at the television as the ball drops but instead contemplating my achievements and failures of the past year and my goals for the next. Probably sounds a little bit crazy and a whole lot boring to most people, but it works for me.

I read quite a few times that when you want to accomplish something, it helps to make your goals public. When people know about what you want to accomplish, you're supposedly less likely sit around on your arse. So, with that in mind I thought I would make my 2012 resolutions "public" right here on Captain Crazy. I say "public" because to say that anything I write on this blog will be read by lots of other people is pretty laughable.

But I digress so let's get back to my resolutions. There's just a few of them and they're pretty simple, really. Here they are in no particular order:
Resolution #1 - I'm going to focus of being HEALTHY. This means paying less attention to the number on the scale and more on just being healthy - being physically fit and keeping my blood pressure low and my arteries sparkling clean. I resolve to continue to make healthy decisions about the food my family eats and to exercise more and stress less. I resolve to be a savvier consumer, more "reduce, reuse, and recycle". I will include more "me time" in my schedule - after all, a happy mommy makes for a happy family! etc.

Resolution #2 - I'm going to learn something every month about a person or a thing I know nothing or little about. This resolution came to be simply because I've realized that I'm basically pretty damn stupid. Really. I can't tell you how many times I can't answer a question from one of my kids because I either don't know enough about the particular topic or worse yet -I'm completely clueless. And my boys are 4 and 7 for God's sake! How I manage a multi-million $$ Federal grant as my full time job astonishes me when I think about how stupid I am!! I took quick and decisive action on this resolution and am already reading Steve Jobs' autobiography. Boring right now, but I have learned a lot about a man and a company I knew nothing about. For instance, i Have learned that it really pisses me off that a multi-billion dollar company was basically started with $1,300.00 - the amount we pay for daycare every month!

Resolution #3. I'm going to embrace my inconsistency and stop fighting against it. I'm going to look at this core trait of my being as a positive thing rather than a negative. At least I can deal with change well - right? Seriously though, being inconsistent is something I have fought against for sooooo long and it's futile, really. I do have things I can do faithfully, like going to work every day and showering and picking my kids up from school, and drinking coffee - important stuff like that. But when it comes to stuff like journaling, blogging, exercising, finishing projects, forget it. Let's take this blog for instance. No one reads this blog anymore and that's my own fault. My blogging is too inconsistent and has been for a long time to attract any faithful readers. When I first started blogging I worked in an office, all alone, with a workload that took me approximately 1 hour to blow through. The rest of my time was spent surfing the web and getting into all kinds of trouble - can we say EBay? Now I spend my entire workday in front of a computer, working with lots of people, and putting out lots on mini-fires. I'm mentally fried when I get home at the end of the day. I barely have enough functioning brain cells to read my boys their Skippy Jon Jones bedtime books, let alone put the effort into a blog post. All I want to do is curl up on the couch and check out watching episodes of Hoarders or some other type of program that makes me feel awesome about myself. So I dropped off the face of the blogosphere and I felt bad about it for a long time. I actually posted a couple of "come back" posts - I felt like Michael Jordan or Brett Farve. They came back, I didn't. But no more feeling bad about my inconsistent blogging. I started my blog as a way to improve my writing and as a way to pass the time during an incredibly boring workday. It was meant for me and that's it. So, i will continue to write when I can and be content with what I do. After all, the only person I have to make happy is me. The same goes for finishing projects, exercising, journaling etc.

So there they are - my three little resolutions that I plan to integrate into my daily existence.

I think I hear Steve calling. Better go for now.

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