A Little Perspective

You know when you have one hard day after another and you're just tired of all the crap? That's been me lately. I noticed the other day that I was being pretty damn snippy with Kellen - riding his butt over stupid little things like tugging on my clothes or being too loud in the house. In my defense, he's ALWAYS tugging on my clothes, so much so that I feel like every shirt I own has been stretched so much that it now fits me more like a garbage bag than a shirt. And the boy is constantly L.O.U.D. I swear he has only volume setting and his off switch broke a long time ago.
It was at the end of one of these particularly hard days that I decided to take a walk after dinner to sooth my rattled nerves. It was almost dusk and the air was warm and scented with the heavenly fragrance of lilacs- one of my favorite flowers. I decided to stretch my walk out a little longer so I took a back route that ran alongside a cemetary. I hate cemetaries, but you can't beat the quiet there so I turned and walked into the gates. This particular cemetary is actually a very pretty place - very green with lots and lots of flowering trees and shrubs. It's secluded too - set back against a backdrop of woods that borders my neighborhood.
I kept walking and rounded a corner where I noticed an area with lots of flowers, toys, and
stuffed animals adorning the gravesites. I had found the cemetary's "Babyland." It was like I was drawn to the graves. The first one I read was for twin little boys who died March 2007 -just days before my second son was born. The second gravesite was for a little boy who passed away March 18, 2008 - 11 days before his 1st birthday. I started to cry as I walked among the little gravestones looking at the little toys, poems, and stuffed animals that had been lovingly placed on nearly every grave, no doubt by parents and famliy members whose hearts are still broken and empty from the loss of a child. I wanted to know what had happened to them - what totally unfair tragedy took such sweet little souls from this earth? I thought about my two little boys and how sometimes I get so fed up with them and I felt so small and ungrateful. I bet the parents of the little ones whose graves I stood next to would give anything in the world to have their children with them today.
I left the cemetary and walked home, crying the rest of the way. When I walked through the front door, I heard Kellen's voice in his bedroom. It was almost 9 and he should have been asleep by 8:15. Usually I get irritated when he farts around at bedtime, but this time I was actually happy that he was still awake. When I walked into his room he jumped out of bed and yelled "mommy, you're home. I was waiting for you" His voice was the sweetest sound I had heard all day and the weight of his body in my arms was the best feeling in the world.

And hubby makes 3

I'm the mom of two little boys, Dane and Kellen. Sometimes my husband's behavior makes me feel like three is a more accurate number. Here is a perfect example of what I mean.

Hubby (changing Dane's diaper)
Kellen - Daddy, I want to see Dane's butt.
Hubby - You want to see his butt? Okay, here it is. Isn't it cute?
Kellen - Yeah and there's his butt-hole!!
Hubby - Yep that's his butt-hole.
Me - Actually, Kellen, it's really called an "anus"
Kellen - You mean a "Danus?"
Hubby - hysterical laughter and uncontrollable snorting
Kellen - A Danus!! A Danus!!
Hubby -by this point is doubled over with fits of laughter.

Now, my hubby is a smart guy. He knows that you're not supposed to give attention to behavior that you don't want repeated again and again. But I guess he had a moment of weakness, when his inner little boy could no longer be contained. I'll let you know if I have to change my baby's name to "Danus"

You're Outta Here!

My daycare provider, (I'll call her TL for TOTAL LOSER) officially gave my kids "the boot" last Friday. Her exact words to me were "February 29th will be the last day I will be able to provide care for your boys. I hope we can part on good terms because I consider you to be a close friend and I know we both gave it our best" All I managed to do was stammer out a measley "okay", turn tail and leave. Since they are only 10 months and 3 years old, they have never been kicked out of anything before and I took it personally. Truthfully though, I saw it coming. TL has been grumbling about my boys for the good part of a month now, coming up with a variety of "complaints" about them. At first she said she was going to let my baby go because his "personality didn't fit in with the group" He's a baby for God's sake - how can his personality not "fit in"? Is he telling offensive jokes? Or maybe he's putting the moves on TL's 18 month-old daughter. She also claimed that my oldest son was"bored". When I asked her to explain more precisely why she had her panties in a knot, she gave me one lame explanation after another, none of which made any sense to me. She has A LOT of daycare experience. She knows how to get babies to nap on schedule and she knows how to keep a pre-schooler engaged and stimulated so her general unhappiness with my kids really had me stumped...until I finally put two and two together.


It turns out that our part-time existence in her daycare doesn't generate the KA-CHING she needs to continue her bad habit of buying crap she doesn't need. To remedy this cash-flow problem, she has three full-time kids, two of which are babies, (which means BIG BUCKS), waiting to fill the spots left by our departure. Now, I'm a reasonable person. I understand that we're talking about her income, but I'm still rather pissed about the whole thing- as if you couldn't tell by this post. Trying to pin the blame on my boys is so dis-respectful to them. By no fault of their own they have to leave a place they have always enjoyed. Unfortunately she has me by the short hairs and there's nothing I can do.


I know I'm either completely nutso or just really, really brave to put up a post about daycare drama. This topic can be as hot as immunizations. So, as I delve into the overwhelming and emotionally draining process of hunting for a new daycare, I would love to hear any HELPFUL feedback that one may have. I stress HELPFUL because I don't need to hear that I'm a crappy mom for having them in daycare in the first place. I would lay down my life for my boys without so much as blinking. It's just that some of us moms have to work, and God forbid, some moms even like to work - but we don't like being deemed a bad mother because of it. Looking forward to hearing from you.