Friday, January 9, 2009

Would you like a side of fries with that guilt?

Oh boy! When I saw the Spin Cycle was about guilt I just had to laugh. I almost feel guilty about it - but not really.

Let's just say that I know Guilt. I know it very well. I grew up with Guilt as a very familiar part of my life. You see, I'm a full blooded Italian and my mother is the absolute best at dishing out heaping plates of guilt.

When I was little I remember my sister often telling me "pack your bags, Leslie. We're going on a guilt trip!" And they were some crazy trips I tell you what!

When my mom would get pissed about something she would bust out with her "silent treatments". For a little kid I don't think there is anything worse than when your own mom won't speak to you. I remember just feeling like total shit when I had done something that disappointed her. God, the guilt was enough to kill me sometimes.

That's why I decided that I would never make my own kids or my husband suffer through the "silent treatment". Whenever I'm angry or disappointed, they know it. And I try to avoid heaping on the guilt in the form of long agonizing lectures about how hard I slave over a hot stove, or at work, or at cleaning the house, or how much I sacrifice to provide this of that for them etc. etc. - it doesn't do any one any good.

So with all that said you would think that I now live a pretty guilt-free life, right? Well, not so much. I still feel guilty about a lot of things I think most moms feel guilty about.

Guilty for working outside of the home.
Guilty for not spending enough time with my kids.
Guilty for not enjoying every single second I do spend with my kids.
Guilty for going out once a month for my book club meeting.
Guilty about not spending enough time with my husband.
Guilty when I go off my "diet"
Guilty when I forget to call a good friend on their birthday.
Guilty when I take time for myself.
Guilty when I don't include a vegetable in every meal.
Guilty, guilty, guilty!

I think somewhere in the Spin, Jen even mentioned "regret". I have done things in my life that I really regret. I'm not an angel that's for sure. But I'm not a complete dumb-ass either so I'm definitely not going to talk about any of the things I've done that I regret because, well, that would be just plain bad. I want you guys to like me after all. Okay - none of it's THAT bad - but still. :)

So, there you have it. Lots and lots of guilt - a fair amount of regret - but overall nothing that keeps me awake at night. I think that's pretty good - don't you?


Keely said...

Yep! Especially for someone who grew up steeped in it. Guilt has it's place but you can't let it consume you - and regret is pointless. How could you possibly change something that's already happened?

Great spin!

Casey said...

Good for you for not playing the guilt card on your family. My mom was/is the ultimate at guilt trips. It's enough to drive me nuts!

All of those things you listed were nothing... you're a great mom and your family is lucky to have you. Also, smart moving not listing your f ups on the blog. ;)

Sprite's Keeper said...

Good for you to break the cycle! I try to watch what I say around Sprite for the most part, but I have guilted John quite a few times. So, I'm guilty of that. (Not that it necessarily makes me feel guilty... it should, right?) You're linked and forgiven!

HeatherPride said...

I'm kind of bad about giving the silent treatment - now I feel guilty!!